The WFT
by Tardation
Summary: The Wii Fit Trainer has tormented the other women long enough, and it's time for the law to be laid down! Ultra Crack fic, if you can't appreciate me trashing your waifus then you are free not to read. Teen for cursing and low brow jokes in general. also, Im too lazy to actually see whether or not this will have said low brow jokes.
1. The Meeting

**Disclaimers: I don't own Super Smash Brothers. Nintendo or any of the guest characters. If I did then there would be a subspace emissary for Wii U. That aside, this is a major crack fic, with relatively short chapters, usually extremely isolated situations that make little sense, and may be too much for the humorless to handle. You have been warned.**

"We all gathered here for a great purpose!" Samus began her speech "And that purpose, is to find a way to punish the Wii Fit Trainer!"

"YEAH" All of the women cheered

"Her days of evil doing shall be over soon!" Samus promised, all of the females cheering again

"Um… what _exactly_ did she do?" Robin (Male) asked. "And why was Lucina invited to such a barbaric event?"

"Of course, a man like you wouldn't understand, you're too busy staring at the Wii Fit Trainer!" Samus accused.

"I'm in a relationship, for Naga's sake!" He pulled Lucina close right then, causing her to blush crimson. "And the least you could do is explain how horrible she is. Now to think of it, I never attended her yoga class…"

The female Villager (Who we'll refer to as Villagirl from here on out) pulled out a CD from her… inventory. Everyone cheered as she wordlessly slipped the disc into the player.

As villagirl slipped in the disc, he saw it was titled "The W.F.T."

 _For Naga's sake_ Robin thought _what did she get into now…_

"Now, as MOST of us know" Samus said "The WFT has been performing acts of pure evil! For both ourselves and the outsider, we will review her sins ourselves."

Robin reviewed everyone at the table. Samus herself was straightening her jumpsuit, Zelda was preoccupied with being a derp with her fiyerbalz, Peach was playing poker, arguing that Toad is equal to at least 500 G, Female Robin (Who we'll call Robyn) Was practicing Tome Stackers, A fun game of her invention that very few people appreciate fully (maybe her kid will make it big...) Villagirl is prodding the floor with a stick, looking for water and Corrin, who is fresh off of the DLC train, is simply not giving a second glance to the whole ordeal.

The disc counted down like a sephia film

3

2

1

BEEP

 **AN: So, like I said, incredibly short, just as I promised. That should be easy for someone like an attention span like yours! At any rate, I think the first story is going to be of Samus, because I already have a VERY clever thing in mind. Until then, I live off of your reviews!**


	2. Samus

**Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own SSB or anything to do with it. If I did, Corrin would be out now. and free for me.**

It was a beautiful day outside, it really was. Too bad all of the female smashers and a few of the male ones promised to be at a Yoga lesson today. Samus flipped her hair flippily as she strided down the hallway, catching the eye of more than a few guys. She has learned long ago to brush these off, however the captain was a bit of another story today…

"FALCON, PICK UP LINE"

"How many times do I have to tell you that is nothing close to a pick up line and you're never getting me ever?"

"SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS"

At this point, Samus grabbed Falcon with her pistol, attached a bomb to it, and threw them both to infinity. wiping her hands clean of that moron for at least a while. She walked into the yoga class to see all the other girls there, along with… sigh, the captain. Samus silently damned the upgraded respawn system as she sat on her mat. The Captain was demonstrating his biceps to the WFT (and everyone else, for that matter!) when she called for attention, the caption squatting, rather than taking the criss-cross-applesause that MOST people learned in Kindergarten. What a funny word, "kindergarten", It comes directly from the german words "Kinder" and "Garten" literally meaning a growing place for children.

"Now we'll start today by stretching our upper body." The WFT announced. As Samus was following her motions, she picked up on the fact that Falcon was looking at her chest… again. She gave him a frown to try and discourage him. He grinned like an idiot. While they were doing across the body shoulder stretch (look it up, you un-athletic scrub) she gave him a finger.

But this wasn't just ANY finger, no, this was the queen of all fingers, standing taller than all of the rest, being protected by 2 fingers at one side and a thumb and index on the other. She gave the Captain a one finger salute, a sign language no-no, the birdie, she flipped him off. He looked away for a moment, knowing that samus was not tolerating his nonsense any longer. and thats when IT happened

"Okay, now lets proceed to lower body." droned the WFT. first was the waist stretches. Then came the legs.

"Lets stretch those legs" As samus was getting close to a perfect russian split;

"Hold up samus, I think you spread your legs quite enough as it is, lets try something challenging for you!"

It took a moment for Samus to process what she just said "What did you just say? about me spreading my…"

"Correct, you need to do something that you don't do at least once a night, something that is so natural to you that you barely notice yourself doing it. I think you should pause with spreading your legs and try, perhaps-"

Thats as far as she got before a war cry was screeched, and the camera fell, however there was still audio available. Little can be said about the smack down that presumably took place. Eventually, the camera was picked up by Villagirl, who winked, then shut it off.

xxx

Robin was a tad shocked after seeing that, his mouth left agape.

"I know, and it only gets worse from here!" Samus said.

"I really think you should have heard out the Trainer before you did that…" He mumbled as the next clip was played...

 **AN: Yay, chapter 2 is down! The story is rolling, and I hope I get to all of the girls before I get bored of this! As I said earlier, this concept is what inspired me to write this in the first place, so I'm feeling good now. I live off of reviews, so please gimmie some! Until next time, Tardation.**


	3. Villagirl

_Disclaimer, I don't own Smash Brothers. If I did, Duck Hunt wouldn't of made it in._

Villagirl was pleasant

Villagirl was made unpleasant

Let Villagirl explain

Villagirl woke up

Villagirl recorded her dream in her diary

Villagirl walked downstairs

Villagirl ate a steak

Slowly

Toon Link was staring

Villagirl winked

Toon Link did not wink back

Villagirl licked her lips

Slowly

Toon Link moved

To the other side of the table

Playing hard to get

For now

Yoga class started

Villagirl walked

To the class

WFT was there

Showing Villagirl how to move

Sometimes, Villagirl liked it

When she let someone else take control

Total control

When class was done, Villagirl walked out

She forgot her Diary

She walked back

The WFT was looking at it

She has already seen things

That she shouldn't have

Villagirl became unpleasant

Villagirl recompensed for her

Villagirl is now pleasant.

xxx

By this time, everyone was clustered at the other side of the table, Not really wanting to make Villagirl feel "unpleasant".

Robin finally got the courage to comment "That was… um... interesting…d-did she even look inside?"

Villagirl simply stared at him. Everyone agreed that they should move on to the next clip.

 **AN: Sorry for not updating in so long, I had... other things to attend to. But enough about me, if you haven't noticed, I'm trying to make each chapter be uniquely narrated by the smasher in question. Note how Samus always kept an edge of sarcasm about her, while Villagirl... well, Villagirl is Villagirl. On to your review, telesoap:**

*gasps* How crude of you WFT, you just don't say such things about people. This is really good, though. It brings new things to the table (or at least things I've never heard of) and gives people a slightly newer perspective. WFT having a yoga class is one of them, haha. I always thought she just worked at a gym, but that seems a ton better.  
Anyway, keep up the good work, please! I really want to see more of this.

 **XD, yeah, the WFT is just akward like that. You can't really blame her for things like this. To your surprise, I actually ripped the Yoga class idea from another FF, but I absolutely hated it (It was made by a feminazi, and I was about as offended as it gets). And trust me when I say you'll get more. Until then, Captain Tardation: over and out!**


	4. Rosalina

**Disclaimer: I don't own SSB. If I did, Bayonetta wouldn't of been censored.**

Rosalina woke up to yet another beautiful day. She called for the master baby luma. The small, white, fluorescent star bounced it's way to her.

It cheered "What are we gonna do today moma?"

She smiled as she hugged him. "We're gonna do some yoga with the WFT, doesn't that sound fun?"

"Anything sounds fun when you're there!" Luma chirped.

She strided to the yoga room with time to spare, seeing everyone gather around, the Luma hopped about.

"There there Luma, you can't tire yourself out before we even start. Let's go ahead and stretch a little bit by ourselves, shall we?"

The Luma nodded enthusiastically and the two stretched their bodies in synch. Everybody was amazed at the display, and were too mesmerized to notice the WFT walk into the room.

"Hmm? Oh Rosa, you've brought a pillow for me as a gift, wonderful!" She grabbed my Luma and walked over to her mat. She then passed out the other pillows, which were nice and dry cleaned.

"Alright, now first we have to fluff our pillows," The WFT started squishing up Luma, the Luma blushing as he tried to wiggle free

"Um, but that's…" Rosa started, not wanting to be a bother

"Unnecessary? Far from it! If you don't fluff your pillow, you could bring great discomfort to your body while trying some of the stretched we're going to do today." She then proceeded to throw the Luma to the ground, planting her knees on his tiny arms. Everyone else was silently watching, seeing how far she'd go.

The luma, not knowing any better, decided to look up. It instantly took a deep shade of red and tried to squirm away. In his defense, those were extremely form fitting yoga pants...

"Thinking of stretches, I think that we're all ready for the russian splits. Now," She pushed a bloody nosed Luma in front of her, it being too overwhelmed to act on the sudden freedom.

"Now, this is where the pillows come in. If you think that, for any reason, your body can't handle it, you just have to fall on it like so," She then fell over, planting her chest right on the Luma.

It took about four seconds for the Luma to realize what just happened, and a second more to explode.

All the other Lumas have gathered around Rosalina, sniffling at the memory of poor Luma.

"And now do you understand why she must be punished, Robin? She must pay for killing that poor innocent baby." Rosalina said with a glint in her eye.

Robin shook his head "I have so many questions right now…"

"Ask away"

"First of all, how are you reading this from a book?! It's happening right now!"

"That's not a valid question" Rosalina sing songed

"And don't your Luma's respawn after, like two minutes? In fact, the Luma in question is right there!" Robin said, pointing to a small white one sniffling more than the rest.

Rosalina harrumphed. "They still feel pain, and he is traumatized by the experienced"

"I still don't really think you can blame WFT for that..."

 **AN: So, another one done already. I've been trying my hardest to get inspired ideas for these fics. It's been quite hard, honestly. A good suggestion would actually be really nice, and speed up the process exponentially. Aside from that, the reason I had the Luma get into that situation is because... well, if you'd hug someone like you hug a pillow, they'd really appreciate it. Not that Luma can handle it... Onto the review of the day by who, by the way, is a total gansta:**

Yeah, having the chapeters be narrated by different smashers is a great idea. Btw, what the heck was that other FF that you got the yoga idea from? I'm really curious...

 **Hot damn, fine. If they'll let me upload the link, it will be right here (** **?no=600089670) In case you can't read that, it's actually NSFW, but I absolutely hated seeing it. In fact, pretty much everything on that website is trash, it's just that this is the one which stood out to me, mostly because it is feminazi propaganda. Seriously, I was actually offended at times. In the case that the link won't show up, or you want to hear the chilling tale of me coming across it, then PM me. Until then: Tardation is outa the building.**


	5. Corrin (filler)

**Disclaimer: I don't own SSB. Why do we even have to do these? It's kinda friggin obvious...**

Corrin lit herself a blunt with her own breath, and then sighed. "I actually have a tale of my own. But I have to give you a epilepsy warning before hand" She inhaled deeply, the turnt alert approaching "Because it is just that god damn dank"

Corrin walked into the smash mansion. She took out a blunt, and hit that shit. She took out her AMC modded sniper rifle, and aimed it right at Mr G&W's head.

AND MY HOPE WILL NEVER DIEIEIEIE!

hype intensifies as she lifts it to her eye

AND MY HOPE WILL NEVER DIE

QUICKSCOPED

Oh, but Corrin didn't stop there

OOH, BABY A TRIPLE

THAT AINT FALCO

WOW

JUST DO IT

OH SHIT, THE FINAL BOSS, GOTTA GET MORE TURNT

the WFT says something lame and racist

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST-

xxx

Everyone in the room was giving Corrin a distantly ashamed face. She kinda died down.

"You know," Robin said, "Just because the author knows nothing about you doesn't mean you get to act THAT ooc."

"Sorry sir," Corrin said, rubbing her shoulder

"Okay, let's watch the actual clip, narrated by me." Robin dusted himself

"BOO, YOUR NARRATIONS BORING" Corrin yelled

"YEAH, AND WHEN DO I GET MY STORY TOLD!? I'M, LIKE, THE FREAKING MAIN CHARACTER!" Lucina shouted

Ignoring everyone's complaints, Robin started:

xxx

So, um… first Corrin lit aflame a rolled up piece of paper… I think we're supposed to believe that holds weed or something... and then she crashed into the center room making "pew pew pew" sounds while calling everyone "nub scrubs" in a weird, monotone voice. Everyone just kinda whispers to each other that dragons are weird when the WFT rushed into the room... er, she said something along the lines of "HEY, EVERYONE, I KNOW HOW TO TALK TO DRAGONS, JUST STAY CALM". She ran over and held her by the shoulder and said, "fus roh dah?" Corrin turned her head slowly. She then fell to the floor and attempts to sweep the WFT's feet from under her. It doesn't work. "FUS ROH DAH?!". This continues until they are separated…

xxx

"Oh come on! That was just one big paragraph! You can surely portray me better than that!"

Robin scratched the back of his head "Look, that's the story, now can this filler be over, please?"

"Wait, is Robyn's story gonna be like that?! Aw shit…." Lucina face palmed.

 **So, how you like the shitty chapter I shoveled on you? If you demand, I will give Corrin an actual chapter later, but for now, I have NO IDEAS. Please, I want to write actually good stuff for you, but pulling original stuff out of my ass is harder than it yeah. No notable reviews as of now... just give me something, okay?**


	6. Zelda

**Disclaimer, I don't own SSB. Still hype about Corrin tho...**

So… it's my turn then… *she blushed, having to be nudged by samus to continue*

See, Robin, I like to right things about people… things that aren't true…

"Like slander?" Robin asked.

No… I write… fantasies about them…

It took Robin a moment to realize what she meant by that

"So you write these stories… and I suppose the WFT came across one of these…"

*She blushed again, this time an even deeper shade of crimson*

Yeah… let me explain… I saw the WFT on the first day she came here, and I saw her talking with little mac... they were just so perfect together. I couldn't resist putting it down. It was so good too, the best I made up to there… *She rubs her shoulder tenderly as she thinks back*

So, I kind of left it in her class one day, right? And she picked it up and… read it…

"You didn't attempt to slaughter her with an axe like… you didn't, did you?"

No, I couldn't go back to retrieve it. I guess she interpreted it as a premonition of mine and took it literally… The next day she called over Little Mac. I guess she wanted to get it over with… She tackled him and… she did everything I wrote... practically raped him…

"Oh god…"

In the lobby, in front of everybody… We tried to shield the children's eyes… some of them were more curious than others… their innocence broken…

So, afterwards she tells him she doesn't feel anything for him *She stomps her foot angrily*

Which wasn't supposed to happen! They should of loved each other forever!

"Zelda, is that why you're angry with her? Because she defied your ship?"

But you understand, don't you Robin

"Of course I do, Zelda" *He wraps his arms around her neck*

"Wait, are you writing about me right now?" Robin demanded

*Zelda moans, her breath on Robin's neck* Darling, I need you,

"Robin, are you cheating on me? In front of me?! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" *Lucina pulled her sword, however she didn't realize that she was powerless against the all powerful and knowing zelda*

"Lucina, I can't control it…" Robin tried to resist Zelda's looks, but he gave in as he unhooked her bra and...

 **AN: Okey, another girl outa the way! whew, this was really hard to get done right It took a while to get a Fanfic feel from her talking, and I think I did pretty well. At least it's not me shoving dank memes down your throat, right? Anyway, here is a review from Telesoap...**

Dang it, WFT. You're not supposed to do that, either. She did attempt, though. I'll give her that.  
Oh, and it's okay to not have any ideas, really. I do that a ton with my fics, so just try to read others and grasp things from there? I'm sorry if this advice is mediocre and unhelpful, but I really want more of this. Even if I never review, it's still pretty entertaining.  
But a chapter on Corrin would be fun, haha. Theremuxed feelings about them, but they seem pretty hilarious at the moment.

 **Yeah, whoever taught her draconic probably doesn't understand that Skyrim is dead. As for the lack of ideas, after sleeping, I got the idea for this and Wendy Koopa (coming soon). So, there you go. As for that real chapter for Corrin, That will be coming sometime after Fates comes out, so I don't make her horribly OOC. Kewl Beens. So see you all later, or something...**


	7. BAYONETTA!

**Disclaimer, I don't own SSB or anything Nintendo, if I did, I'd sue FineBros for covering Luigi Death Stare, since they seem so eager to jump onto legal nonsense.**

The queen of all things beautiful kicked down the door on her first day, and introduced herself to the WFT by gunpoint.

"Why hello there, I'm going to be in your class, so if you suddenly see a huuuuuuge turnout in male attendees, you can thank me for that,"

The WFT, who for some reason abhors make up for any kind, started to stutter like a schoolboy seeing a set for the first time.

"U-um, you, you're welcome to join but… What is your name, exactly?

She pulled the tape recorder that she kept for this very purpose. Through the small speakers, a man who clearly spent WAY too much time covering the smashers was screaming

"BAYONETTA?! OH, NIGGEH, OH SHIT, YOU NIGGEHS NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"

The WFT, with ears still ringing asked quietly "Like the weapon attachment, right?"

She smirked, "Exactly, but don't wear it out darling."

xxx

It was Bayonetta's first day, and she was at a loss of words at how to describe how she was feeling. See, she never had an "off" day, so she can't say this isn't one. She settled on the fact that this was an "onner" day, and strided down the hall, her pixie cut bouncing in the wind, her curves suspended so perfectly by her hair. Witch hair, incase you're simply too daft to know, is second in quality only to pure silk in quality. And it's far more durable, so there's that.

When she walked into the room, she counted all of the males, surprised at the turnout. Hey, sometimes she even surprised herself, and she took the once in a blue moon experience radiantly to heart. But one interested her in particular. A small blonde, with his hair done up in such a fashion that not even hair gel could maintain that in the heat of battle. She knew from personal experience that he must be using some magic to keep that fabulous thing in the air.

She must acquire the secret, so she can ditch the jewel in her hair that she uses when she wants to keep it up, like old times. She sat on the mat right next to his. He seemed to busy chatting up Samus, something about empathizing with her being orf-and-something. Feh, I see no reason why she is more attractive than moi, can you? So anyway, We did some stretches,

"So how do you do it?" Bayonetta asked in a sharp tone, needing the answer ASAP

"What? These stretches? Well, see I-" Lucas started

"Oh, I see, need a bit of convincing do we? Well, I can certainly arrange that," Bayonetta, being VERY accustomed to how some men just needed a bit of motivation to get their mouths moving. So they did some splits, and she did them full russian, doing a handstand, whilst her pants quickly retracted to some rather revealing shorts. Lucas paid quite some mind, and that Falcon fellow was looking between me and Samus as if there was a competition to be had. As if.

The WFT cleared her throat, now understanding that she should keep the sexiness of the room in check "Now, Bayonetta, I'm sure it's not entirely necessary to remove clothes you were clearly comfortable in…"

Bayonetta, paying no heed to that daft little girl. She approached Lucas, Her steps calculated, her hips swaying just so. Like she practiced all of these years.

"Miss, um, could you, um," Lucas stumbled through his words, overwhelmed by the advances made by the foxy mistress that is Bayonetta.

Now, to add the finishing touch. Go hard or go home, she always said. She leaned over, her shirt retracting so that her bust was in full view, and she whispered just one, little innocent comment. That's all, I swear.

"You're not too good at this are you? If you don't know how to talk to a lady," Bayonetta grinned

"Ask your mum."

Lucas dashed out of the room, tears running down his face. I guess Bayonetta overdid it by just a little,

Meanwhile, apparently, Samus' face was twisting into one of rage. Didn't know she was into little boys, but even her reaction was an over reaction, she tried to bludgeon me to death with the butt of her pistol. I mean-

xxx

Samus interjected "You know full well why I reacted like that!"

"And that would be…?" Bayonetta somehow ended up on the table, kicking her legs childishly.

"Well, for one thing, you're a damn show off." Samus started drumming her fingers on the table

"No I'm not!" After everyone gave her the look, she cleared her throat, "What, show and tell was always my favorite subject in grade school."

"Show and tell with your body? How come I don't doubt that," Samus quipped

"Now you look here, you can't go around making accusations, especially because I asked for a reasonable cause for your horrendous assault!"

"Are you so damn full of yourself that you honestly don't know what you did? What you said?" Samus started turning red… again.

"All I did was some innocent flirting, nothing violating. He didn't give me the chance, see, beca-"

"HE'S AN ORPHAN, YOU BITCH! OF COURSE, YOU WOULDN'T, NO COULDN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOUR LIFE WAS ALL DANDY BULLSHIT, WELL GUESS WHAT SISTER, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AS PERFECT AS YOU!" Samus slammed her fists on the table. The room was silent, as she leaned back into the chair, making a final huff, "I think we should just play the next clip, no comment necessary Robin."

Robin cleared his voice "Samus, are you-" He was elbowed sharply by Lucina.

Bayonetta mumbled something about a "spicy one" as the disc jumped to the next story.

 **Ooh shit, there be some conflict going on! Honestly, I always thought that ZZS would be just a little upset with Bayo, seeing that she overtakes her in combo game. However, as I was writing this, I realized just how right it would be to have Lucas be the middle man. So, there you go. As for reviews: from this weirdo "Equoch"**

Wow, that was beautiful. Corrin is just so Dank in this story.

 **Heh, so nobody read Zelda yet. Yeah, it's a little on the shitty side, but I did tell you I have no ideas. As for Wendy, well, it was turning out boring, so it's being delayed. Sorry if you were excited about it, or something. And now that I've done some research on Corrin, a new and legit chapter could be coming your way. Until then, Tardation is over and out!**


	8. Corrin 4 Realzies, P1

**Disclaimer: I donut own SSB. If I did, it would've had better DLC...**

"ALRIGHT, ROBIN" Corrin stated, "I HAVE MY STORY".

"Ouch, did you have to yell so loud?" Robin was rubbing his ear, as Corrin decided on a whim to shout in his ear.

She relit her joint, as the screen did that neat flashback transition you saw on "Cory's in the House".

So I was doing yoga, right? And so the Wii Fit Trainer was being racist again!

"Fus Roh Dah!" She expressed

"How many times to I have to tell you, very few actual dragons speak draconic!" I stamped my foot in absolute frustration.

She wiped her brow "Oh, sorry, I just spent so long remembering, but I just wanted to know what you're doing on your phone."

"Excuse me?" I said, none too keen to have her treat me like a school brat.

"I mean, no one calls me on my phone so," She rubbed her arms, the other students mimicking her "Um, class is dismissed early, I need to talk to Corrin."

They all shrugged and walked out. I lit myself a blunt and glanced up "what'cha want?"

She bowed her head "So Corrin, or Kamui if you prefer-"

"Look, Kamui is what that prepubescent lame ass is called, I'm Corrin. Got it?"

"Why are you critical of your brother like that?" She asked, earning a facepalm.

"We are not siblings, we are simply from different timelines, where we were born as different sexes. It's the same with everyone else, Robin and Robyn, Villaguy and Villagirl, even you, Wii fit Baener and Wii Fit Gayner. By the way, where is Wii Fit Gayner?"

"First off, I don't appreciate you reffering to my friend as.. "gayer"... or whatever you said. Second, he has been training on the top of that kenpo mountain over by that resort training to be the best yoga master... "

"Whatever," I puffed my blunt, "you want to know what I've been doing?" I beckoned her to take a look. So, I have a few haters right? Because I got in and they didn't. Here, the cam should have a record of the chat

xxX

Corwin: So, whatup fags?

: Corrin, why do you keep on getting in these arguments? You're just irritating everybody

xxX_THEKINGOFALLLAHARL_Xxx has entered the chat

xxX_THEKINGOFALLLAHARL_Xxx: FUCK YOU CORRIN

Corwin: So, a bit salty, aren't we?

xxX_THEKINGOFALLLAHARL_Xxx: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN SMASH! MEMEME!

Corwin: One, I didn't know you were into that ;) second of all, what do you have that Cloud doesn't? A few more holes in your sword?

xxX_THEKINGOFALLLAHARL_Xxx has disconnected

Corwin: See, Layton, these kids just can't handle me.

: Now, I know one should never curse at a lady, because that's ungentleman like. But because you clearly aren't a lady, piss off.

Corwin: Aww, is that the baby's first bad word? Are we gonna have to get the soap?

ShantaeIsBae has entered the chat

ShantaeIsBae Ugh, what are you doing here, Corlose?

Corwin: I think you need to get your eyes checked, because I'm Corwin. Oh, and get your implants looked at too. Not by the doc tho ;D.

ShantaeIsBae: What's with you and my bust? Jelly cuz u don't have it? ;)

Corwin: Better a no show than an all show, slut.

ShantaeIsBae: Oh, did Lucina teach you that comeback? Hey, flatties gotta stick together, right?

Corwin: Hey, at least we don't have to dance for money, stripper

ShantaeIsBae: Oh, sorry, I forgot that a brick could visit an adult establishment.

Corwin: Oh, sorry, I forgot that prostitutes were allowed to apply for smash brothers.

ShantaeIsBae: *Cough* Bayonetta *Cough*

Corwin: Oh, I do have some good news. I heard they want you in the new HuniePop game. You want in?

ShantaeIsBae: I gtg, else I catch the flat.

ShantaeIsBae has disconnected.

Corwin: Hey, still there, old man?

PeaWeeCock has entered the chat

PeaWeeCock: Why hey there Cory :)

Corwin: Oh, what do you want now Peacock?

PeaWeeCock: What, can'tcha enjoy a bit of friendly banter, on girlie to anotha'? ;)

Corwin: Why would I have to listen to a squeaker like you?

PeaWeeCock: Why'd I kick your ass over Black Ops? Sorry, I'm just better than you ;D

Corwin: UGH, BRB, that Wiifu is bugging me. We'll discuss how you cheated later

PeaWeeCock: Whateva you say, sweetcheecks ;)

Corwin has disconnected

xxX

The WFT had a shine in her eye "I think I know just how to help!"

Little did I know, how horribly it'd go…

 **BOOM, CLIFFHANGER! Didn't think I'd pull that on ya, didja? Yep, Corrin is gonna be split into 2 chapters, so I can stay regular on my updates. If you'd like, you can play a guessing game in the reviews and try to guess just how horribly the WFT fucks up. A cameo will go out to whoever gets closest :D At anyrate, on to the review from that guy, equach:**

 **Hey thanks for noticing me! Also can't wait for that new Corrin chapter. You made her awesome!**

 **Well, shenpai tries to notice as many of you as he can. Of course, since there's only 3 of you, it's not too hard. In honor of you, I decided to make that second Corrin chapter ahead of time. Sorry if she's less dank, but you have to consider how Robin cut in last time, and she doesn't like being interrupted. at anyrate, to infinity and beyond, Tardation.**

 _ **P.S. Along with the previous game, You can also point out all of the references, along with who exactly the characters are. bye bye now.**_


	9. Corrin 4 Realzies P2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own SSB, if I did, Bayo would've gotten a buff by now.**

"- THE HELL IS MY TURN GOING TO BE!" Screamed a frustrated Lucina, her being tired of the wait.

"Calm down Lucina. Your story can come next, okay?" Robin was holding up his hands, in hopes that it would pacify her

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! HOW COME SHE GETS TWO STORIES, HUH? EXPLAIN THAT, SMART GUY!"

Corrin, who was sitting in the corner just finishing her blunt from last time, was getting impatient. She didn't have time to waste, as her story was pretty important. So, she used her dragon lance and knocked Robins head into Lucina's face. The room fell silent as the two shared the kiss. The room suddenly filled with pen scratches, Zelda going furiously to work.

It took about two minutes before Corrin got sick of that too. She decided that them bickering was more tolerable, especially considering that Robin's hand was starting to sink a bit more southwards than she would like for a T fiction. So, she reformed the lance and picked up Robin by his hood.

"Are the lovebirds done? Alright, on with my story."

"But- me and Lucy were having a moment," Robin whined

"Shut it" Corrin snapped, and flicked it on

xxx

"I was walking out and flipped up my phone. and then it occurred to me that the WFT can operate a phone. And that the conversation wasn't private."

xxx

PeeWeeCock: Oi, just hit me up when you're done being a big baby, 'kay?

ShantaeIsBae: has entered the chat

ShantaeIsBae: Cory, Cory Cory in the hoooooooouse

PeeWeeCock: It's a party every week, baby

ShantaeIsBae: Cory Cory Cory check it out

PeeWeeCock: That's right I'm in the house

Wii_Fit_Trainer has entered the chat

Wii_Fit_Trainer: I am here to talk about my friend Corrin.

PeeWeeCock: Who might you be?

ShantaeIsBae: Woah, I think it might be a *gasp* NPC

Wii_Fit_Trainer: I'll have you know that I am fully playable character!

ShantaeIsBae: Perhaps in Smash, sweetie, but in your home games, you're just a droning bot.

PeeWeeCock: And where is yer poisanality, eh? "Let's stretch those legs"? Real character writing there.

Wii_Fit_Trainer: I know you think that this is all fun and games, but you have probably really hurt Corrin's feelings. Can't we all just be nice?

PeeWeeCock: *SPITAKE OF THE CENTURY* rofl*9000

ShantaeIsBae: Stop it, you're making my sides hurt XD

Wii_Fit_Trainer: I'm not sure what "rofl" means, or what "XD" stands for, but it's clear that you're sorry for your actions, now that I've revealed what you've done. I know it might be hard, but could you apologize? It might be scary at first but I'm sure she'll accept it with a passion.

PeeWeeCock: DED. FRIKIN DED.

ShantaeIsBae: Look, maybe you should pack up and never touch the internet. Ever again. Mannequins shouldn't even be moving, should they Peacock?

PeeWeeCock: Nope.

Wii_Fit_Trainer has disconnected

xxx

"So yeah, there's no redeeming myself after that horrible fuck up." Corrin was massaging her feet. "I won't be able to show my face on the internet for another umm," She checked her watch "Oh, I've waited long enough, no need to hang with you losers anymore." She was heading towards the door.

"Wait, I haven't seen her all day. How long ago was this?" Robin had his brow furrowed with concern

"Idunno, an hour ago-" Corin started

"SHUT IT, IT'S MY TURN NOW BITCH" Lucina thew Fachion like a spear. Corrin formed the dragon helmet, but the impact still knocked her out cold. Robin was taken back by it. Lucina stepped on the podium.

"Now listen here, you maggots, because my story will take you to hell and back, and then back to hell again just because it can. It all started in-"

A horn was sounded. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT" Lucina started throwing a tantrum. Robin managed a look out the window. There was a taxi out and a white figure was approaching it. With bags. Robin connected the dots like lighting and jumped out

"I WANNA TELL MY STORY, I WANNA TELL MY STORY NOOOOOOOW!" Lucina was flailing before Peach kneeled by her side.

"hush little baby don't say a word. Because I didn't get my story either." Peach lulled Lucina to a sleep, her gently drooling on the floor. With a bow, she walked back to her seat

 **AN: Woah, who expected this to be another cliff hanger! And not only that, it's the penultimate chapter. Super unexpected! What will happen to the WFT? Why is Lucina so immature? Does anybody give a shit about this fic!? All of this and more will be answered next episode!**


	10. The WFT's Lament

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB. If I did, we'd all be having a bad time.**

Robin tucked and rolled on the ground, trying to get the WFT's attention. "Wait, don't leave, I wanna talk!"

She stopped dead in her tracks. "And why should I?" She had a quiver in her voice, and she tried hard to contain it.

"I know you're feeling kinda bad but-"

"Kinda bad? That's what you're going with, 'Kinda bad'?! All those other girls are so mean to me, 'cause I'm not them and…" she sniffed really deep then turned around, and that is the first time he saw her face. Her eyes were swollen and puffy and her face was covered in snot. I mean, you think that she'd be a sexy crier, or at least not that, but sheesh. It was literally dribling down her chin onto her chest, making all these trails…

"Here, just take this tissue, please I insist!" Robin pleaded, handing her a box.

"Really? Thanks Robin, I knew you'd understand," She wiped her eyes, and only her eyes. "You know, you're different from them, you're nice, and you understand that I'm not like em and… and… here, maybe a hug would do." She opened up her arms and started walking towards him. Oh god, he just dry cleaned this robe, he gotta think of something, quick!

"NO- er.. no need. I know that what would be better?"

"Are you saying we should kiss?" Said WFT, the snot making a glistening mustache on her face. "Well, I'm sure Lucina would be fine if I stole a quick one…" Before he could react, a thick slimy one was laid on his cheek. The trail seemed to go on forever as she pulled away. He fainted.

xxx

I scratched the back of my head. Well, I didn't know I was that good. All a result of my intense face training. I hung poor Robin over my shoulder, and wiped my nose with the remaining tissue. I do hope it's gonna be better. I walked back inside and they were waiting.

"BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING," I said, "I just want to apologize." They all gave me a funny look

"Keep going," Samus was tapping her foot impatiently

" Samus, I realize now how my comment on you and your legs could be perceived. I am truly sorry if you feel I implied anything about your activities" After this, Samus seemed to loosen up. Might as well keep up this roll, "Villager, I shouldn't of picked up your diary, and I swear I won't make the mistake again." Villager's smile didn't fade, but at least she's lowering that axe of hers. "Rosa, I'm sorry for taking one of your Lumas, and I should of checked every pillow before using them." Rosalina started twirling her wand with a deep blush. Did she feel bad for holding that grudge? "Zelda? Can I be honest with you? When I was forcing Mac through all of that I had to admit… It was nice…" After an eep too high pitched for all of them to comprehend, I continued. "Bayonetta, I'm still not sure what I did to you, but sorry for it."

"You didn't do anything, and that anything was fashion. You are a gross example of a fashion don't."

I cleared my throat "Lucina, sorry for making you leave your sword at the door." Everyone glared at Lucina.

"What? It really hurt my feelings."

"And finally, to Corrin. If you can hear me, I am so sorry for being racist, and I know now that not all dragons speak draconic." The sound of my voice echoed through the hall. I released my throat right when she dropped from the sky, and tackling me into a hug and I just had to fear what was coming…

 **AN: So… the show's over. fuck off. You have no reason to be reading this anymore. And yes, you will be seeing more of dank Corrin in the future. Infact, I'm churning idea's for a new fic as I'm typing this. So let the hype train ride. Until then I leave.**


End file.
